Whether you have children or are planning to start soon, you probably have some questions about combining work and parenthood. So I decided to put together this simple guide to help you make sense of it all. It's not exhaustive but should give you a good start. The goal here is to give you a little insight and help you with the planning process so that you can do it right, rather than wrong.
Stress at work can be stressful at home. We’ve all heard the saying “at work we make money, at home we spend it” and this can sometimes ring true. This post is going to discuss the importance of managing stress at home, as well as some tips for reducing the stress levels at work.
Stress at the workplace is brought on by people who are having a tough time dealing with family logistical issues. The workplace worries are brought home to the children as well. This can turn into a negative cycle with damaging results if you are not careful. It doesn't have to be like this all the time.
In order to successfully manage the challenge of being a working parent, how can you take back control? Better planning, being more flexible, and developing greater patience are some of the things that can be done to solve the problem. Read on to understand what this means in practice.
Tips for Parents
For many parents, work is something that they feel conflicted about. They might want to have a career, but at the same time, they want to do the best for their children.
As a result, they’re not sure how to strike a balance between work and parenting. Or they may be struggling with the fact that their job no longer provides them with financial security, meaning they have to work a lot harder than ever before to ensure they have enough money to look after themselves and their children.
In these situations, having a strong work ethic can seem like a contradiction in terms, so it’s no surprise that many parents struggle to cope when they’re in the workplace.
So what?
Create a holistic job description for yourself
You don't need to be a lawyer, an analyst or an executive to have a job description. You are both a mom and dad. You should include the words "working parent" in your full job title, as well as the responsibilities you carry for each role. Since there are only so many hours in the day, there needs to be give and take between the working and parenting side of the job. Supermom or dad are gone. You are not other than a human.
Set limits
If you want to do your best in one area or the other, you need to say no. It's better to take responsibility for small let-down rather than settle for poor performance in both aspects of your life. Setting limits so that you can set yourself up for long-term success in your career is worth the effort of being a working parent.
Get REALLY Organized
If you only managed your time in a loose way before you were a parent, you'll find that this approach quickly buckles under the strain of your dual role You'll need to extend the scope of what you're doing even if you were good at scheduling before. This is the kind of thing you want to think about.
Create systems throughout the house
If you want everyone to have everything they need for the day, you need to organize in the morning. Do the same for after school activities. As children get older, they can be in charge of their own lists. Make sure you have a simple and effective storage system for all the everyday stuff, like sports equipment, so that it's easy to find, and to put back. Determine how to deal with school clothes. Instead of putting all the hats and mittens in one container, separate them for each child so you don't have to look around for Johnny's favorite hat. As much as you can, give responsibility to others. Getting everyone off to school and working on time is a significant achievement.
Develop backup plans
You can make backup plans. Johnny can't go to daycare. Your mom is away so he can't go there. Where do he go? Accept that "stuff" will happen. Children get sick. The nanny is sick. The daycare center has to close for a while because of a broken boiler. When regular daycare isn't available, decide what to do. When the backup plan doesn't work, you can decide what to do. This type of organization will keep stress levels down.
TIP: The nature of your work may affect the number of levels you need to create. If your daughter breaks her arm, it's possible for you to leave the office. If you're a barrister, you'll need a Plan B that can be put into action quickly.
Plan ahead
When you have the dates for the important school and extracurricular events, write them down. Make a copy of your work calendar at home. You can make arrangements to attend mid-day concerts and ensure you don't schedule a late meeting if you use this method. Ask teachers and coaches for a list of special dates in advance.
Tip:
Get to know all the tricks for using your time well. From internet shopping or shopping during off hours (so that the stores are less busy), to asking parents of classmates' to help with running occasional errands, there are lots of little things you can do each day to find a few extra minutes of child-time.
Block off work time and home time
Don't mix the two unless absolutely unavoidable. A message to your children is that your work is more important than time with them if you bring it home regularly. If you can, you should stay a bit later at your desk to get everything done. Setting up homework time for everyone, including you, is possible if that's not possible. You role model the importance of commitment and diligence to older children when you work on their projects with them. Younger children, who don't have homework, or who need help with their assignments, could use your time to do quiet, independent activities like crafts or puzzles.
Make a plan to manage your leave time
If your kids are out of school and you have some free time, take all the time you need off and enjoy your life! You’ll never regret not having more vacation time.
If you're a parent who has been working all week and now has to take your sick child to the doctor, make arrangements to use annual leave, or ask if you can work from home to make up the time.
Talk to your boss and HR department about the possibility of taking unpaid leave if you need to take a mental health break. Your ability to stay productive when you're not well depends on how much support you have in your life and work.
When the children are out of school, and you have to be working, look into day camps and other structured activities.
Tip:
If you have a partner, you'll want to consider overlapping some of your holiday plans so that you can arrange for just a few nights per week of
If you stagger your start and end times, your children will have more parents around during their school days.
Gather a support network at work
One way to connect with other working parents is to meet once a month to discuss your challenges. The people who understand the dynamics of your workplace are much better than family and friends. Discuss solutions to the problem. You could look after someone's children while you're on leave, in exchange for the same when they take their holidays. It's comforting to know that someone can pick up your kids at a pinch.
Demystify your work
Share your life with your children by helping them understand your work and why you do what you do. Give children of all ages a picture of you at work so they can look at it throughout the day.
Show your kids around your office. Take them to your company's events with you. And invite work friends home for dinner! You need to teach your kids these things, not that they won't get them from others.
Stay connected to your kids
You have to be extra careful about what your children do when you're not around. Clear rules about what can and can't be done after school are needed. If you need to, give them a cell phone. Take time to talk to them. Try to give each child fifteen minutes to do something. This shows that you care about them as individuals.
Celebrate your working parent status
You need to take time to reflect on how well you're holding things together. This isn't an easy role to fill, so be good to yourself and know that you're doing the best you can.
Key Points
Working and parenting can be done in a harmonious way. It could take some time and trial and error to get it right. A basic plan is needed to cover things like childcare, sickness, and how you're going to get everything done in the time you have. To be able to roll with whatever life throws at you, you need to build in enough flexibility after that. With patience, understanding, and good support from friends, family, and colleagues, you will be well on your way to enjoying a satisfying and rewarding career as a working parent.
Get Your Best Friend
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